GO HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS SONG.. one of the worship leaders wrote this song with a freind, and it has become one of my favorite songs to just listen to and take in!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps 

so this week has been really good. again sorry i dont really update often, but im trying! and thank you for your support, i really appreciate it, and get encouragement from it. i love you all so much and am so blessed to have so many caring and generous people in my life. 

this weeks topic is the character of God, as well as fear of God. it has been really stressful because its a huge topic to cover in 4 days, and of course i have a billion questions to ask and they cant all be answered. but weve looked at how above all, God is holy. We have to understand His otherness. thats been a big thing. weve also learned what its like to fear God, and how to live that out in our everyday lives. its really slapped me in  the face because i have gone through life for SO long without even considering God's holiness, without even acknowledging WHO He is, and what He deserves. thats really been in my mind and ive gotten discouraged because of my way of life. ive just felt so ashamed of the way ive chosen to live- knowing God but deciding to do what i want instead. ive been praying a lot for God to just make my heart pure and give me the desire to seek Him no matter what i think or feel or experience. 

the school leader came up to me and was like " hey i bought this little book and i feel like im supposed to give it to you. " so she gave it to me and it was a book by beth moore called A Taste of Believing God. while reading it God revealed to me that for so long i have based my faith off of what i experience.. i believe God as long as He does what i tell Him or want Him to do. which is completely selfish and stupid. i am in no way saying that i have had a complete revelation and im no longer struggling! no. im learning that this IS a process, as much as i want to know everything and understand everything RIGHT NOW. thats a hard thing to grasp too- im not quite there yet. but it was still really good to realize why some things have been the way they are in my life.

im trying to turn over a new leaf! im trying out seeking God and learning about who He is. its rough! and did i say frustrating? i didnt know  it could be so hard. but God allows us to go through trials so that A- we will learn to trust Him above all else and trust that He is faithful. B- so that we can help and comfort others when they are going through trials, just like God helped me when i was struggling. 

so yeah its all a big process. pray for perseverance. that i wont give up when i FEEL certain emotions, when i doubt and have unbelief. it would really help!

READ ISAIAH 61.. i think it may be for me?!

i love you all and please continue to send letters. it makes my day!

i miss everyone