Sunday, December 6, 2009

one week from today i will beon my way to india.
time has seriously gone by so fast it scares me. im excited to go, but VERY nervous. i have no idea what to expect.  so just not knowing is whats getting to me. im trying to keep in mind that God is in control. but everyone please pray for peace of mind, and that i would have a servants heart, that i would really want to see God have His way and that my own desires wouldnt take over. 

this past week was Holy Spirit week, and a lot of cool things happened. its crazy to see how personal God is, and experience Him. i keep thinking about how before my time here i had no idea this part of God existed, i had no idea He REALLY does love us and desire us. He just wants relationship with us, that we would LOVE Him and worship Him. its a process but i just want to get to a place where i really am thankful for all He has done, where i want to completely be sold out for Him becuase He is worthy, not out of obligation or fear. so many times i TRY. i work and work to hopefully get approval from Him. but then i have to think that it is a gift- the salvation we have in Jesus is a gift- all i h ave to do is recieve it. and even recieving it is hard because that means i have to trust Him when i have absolutely NO idea whats going to happen. and thats when fear comes in. i get scared becuase i have no idea what God's going to say or do , and i get scared that He wont do anything. and of course thats not true, but thats what i think. i get so anxious. and He is faithful and patient. im trying to have a thankful heart because He is constantly proving me wrong by showing up and answering my prayers. I put Him in a box, and He still shows up.  its crazy. not i just have to accept what He offers- freedom, love, joy, peace, everlasting life, comfort, truth, etc. it really does all come down to faith- to trutsing that God is who He says He is no matter what. He's going to be the same no matter what i do , think , or say. it's crazy!!! you'd think it would be the easiest choice to make! but trust is so hard for me, and im not sure why! so please also that i would trust- that i would trust GOD in all He is, does, and says. that i would have strength to keep moving forward and not turn back to the things of this world, and that i would desire Him and His will, and only that. that i would fall in love with Him! 

i want to thank everyone who has supported me and prayed for me while ive been here. its so comforting to know that people care. and even though i cant call everyone up on the phone, because i dont have a lot of free time, i want everyone to be assured that i love you and am blessed to have you in my life. thank you for being positive influences in my life- for being loving and supporting me financially as well as prayerfully. and for dealing with me!! i know i am a person who is picky and selfish sometimes! so thank you for not losing your temper! thank you for giving. i love you all! and i will miss everyone during the holidays! i probably wont update this while i am on outreach, becuase i doubt ill have internet. however, if i do i promise that ill send an email out !

heres the specifics that i know about my outreach!

we are going to calcutta, kalimpong, and darjeeling.
we will be working with train station kids (like in slumdog millionaire), street evangelism and open airs. - doing skits and dances in the streets. we will also be preaching in churches ( I HAVE TO PREPARE A SERMON!!!! AHH!!) and discipling the people of india. also prayer walking and basically anything else needed of us. 

we are going to Kathmandu, and dadeldhura. 
the majority of our time in nepal will be spent hiking to villages preaching the Gospel. the majority of the villages havent heard the name of Jesus, so that should be interesting. and here we will also be preaching in churches and doing skits and stuff for whoever will listen. we will be traveling a lot and doing whatever God wants. 

im pretty nervous because ive never really lived by the Spirit! asking God what He wants us to do and where He wants us to. all on the spot! its crazy to me not having everything planned out!! i will take plenty of pictures and videos!

please also pray for:
1. good health
2. safe travels
3. that we would be prepared mentally and spiritually. that we would constantly be walking in the authority of Jesus Christ 
4. we would keep our hearts , mind, and eyes focused on God and not ourselves.
5. for joy, peace of mind, and rest. that we wouldnt be fearful but trust God.
6. for our families safety as well as joy during the holidays and every day life! for peace of mind for them too!
7. again for servant hearts , and that we would not be apathetic or selfish; but really ask and do what God wants, and see/love the people of these countries like God does.

thanks again everyone!!! i LOVE YOU ALL! :) 

Thursday, November 26, 2009

hello again!

time is flying by! in two and a half weeks al of the students will be going off on our mission trips! theres is a team going to vanuatu, samoa (also going to fiji), thailand (also going to the philippines), and finally nepal (also going to india). please pray for each team, that we would really press in during these last few weeks here, and that we wouldnt lose heart or become apathetic. i know that a lot of us are just getting attacked; so many students including me are getting really tired and stressed out. so please keep all 31 of us in your prayers! with that, please pray for safety and health, that no one would get sick and that nothing would keep us from spreading the love of God. specific prayer for me - i really need to love and care about the people of india and nepal. pray that i would be open to the Lord and what He wants from me. pray that i would WANT His will to be done, and not my own. i really want to go with a heart that TRULY cares about these people, as well as a desire to worship God for who He is and what He has done. i really want to focus on His love, and on the cross. i really need prayer that i would do that. AND that i would isolte myself from my team or people in general. :) thank you.

moving on! this past week, Ron Carlson has been speaking in our classes on apologetics. apparently not too many people talk about it? i dont know maybe i made that up. but it was really good! each lecture he touched on different religions and basically disproved them in a way. it was really interesting becuase he grew up in a Christian home, and when he went to college he took all the classes he could that tried to disprove the truth in Christ. he even went to college in jerusalem! it was ironic becuase this past week there was a conference for jehovah's witnesses in waikiki, and 30,00o people from around the world atteneded it. so of course he taught us the history of the religion, as well as what they believe. on friday night everyone went out to waikiki and evangelized to them. he spoke a few days last week , as well as yesterday and today. very informative! last night he talked about evolution vs. creation and he actually disproved it. he took us through the history of it and come to find out, it makes aboslutely no sense. i SO wish that everyone in the world could come and sit in on all these lectures and hear from all these speakers. they have a lot of knowledge, but they stil encourage us to search out truth for ourselves in the Word. i have gained TONS of deep insight here that i dont know what to say or how to even begin sharing it. i think when i get home i might do something where i talk about all the things i have learned. its kind of overwhelming!

this weekend my team and i hiked koko head. as you know, i am not an athletic person and i do not enjoy exercising of any kind. i actually despise it. i would never wake up and choose to climb 1,048 steps up a mountain. that just doesnt sound like fun to me. but it ended up being worth it, the view fromt he top was beautiful!! 

thank you for reading my blog! God is doing crazy things in my life, as well as the lives of every one here!! :) ill leave yall with a lot of pictures.
me on nations night, i was a texan.(everyone here thinks im hick.)
getting ready to hike KOKO head (behind us)i am not excited..
climbing the 1,048 steps to the top. i look goofy.
at the top!
the girls on my team for india and nepal!
on top of koko head.
more scenery..

i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving!! i was lucky enough to have it with a full hawaiian family! it was a lot of fun and i got to learn a lot about the history of hawaii as well as the culture. 

Sunday, November 15, 2009

first let me tell everyone what our weekly schedule looks like so you can understand what i do on a day-to-day basis. everyday we have breakfast at 7, then the whole base has quiet time from 7:30 to 8:30. besides that, everyday has a different schedule:
mondays- we have base worship at 8:30, intercession at 9:30, lecture at 10:30 that lasts till lunch at 12:30. then i have my work duties where i prepare dinner. that lasts from 2:30 to 5:15. at 6:30 we have lecture again and that ends at 8:30. then we have the rest of the night off.
tuesdays- video time at 8:30 (watch insperational videos), at 9:30 we have reading time. (yes we have 3 madatory books to read and we also have to do book reports on each one) 10:3o we have lecture which lasts till lunch. then my outreach team (india and nepal) meets at 1:30 and we practice dances and prepare personal testimonies and sermons. (when we go to india and nepal we have to be prepared to give a sermon at any given time. im freaking out!!!) then we have worship at 6:30 and it ends at 8:30. 
wednesdays- we go to community outreach from 8:30 to 11:30 and help around the community. (i go to a preschool and work with the 2 year olds. they are so cute.) then i have dinner prep from 2:30 to 5:15. and finally lecture at 6:30 and it ends at 8:30.
thursdays- at 8:30 we have intercession ( we ask God whats on His heart and spend time praying ) then at 9:30 we have chapel talks (students individually go infront of class and talk about anything God's doing in their lives or talk about something significant they've learned) at 10:30 we have lecture till lunch at 12:30. then i have small groups at 1:30 ( the girls from my outreach team meet and talk about whatever, then we prepare for outreach by working out becuase were going to be hiking the majority of the time we're in india and nepal). after that we have the night off. 
fridays- 8:30 we have break-out groups. ( we got to choose 1 out of 4. each break out group focuses on something different, mine is the power of a focused life. we are learning about how if we dont set aside time to be in the Word, we will most likely never dig in on a regular basis. each break-out group lasts 4 weeks. last month i was in one that focused on fear of the Lord .) 9:30 we have Bible reading. (we go through certain books of the Bible in depth - go through the history, meaning, etc.) at 10:30 we have lecture till lunch. then at 6:30 we have launch, which is kind of like a church service for the communtiy. we have worship and a sermon. after that our dts goes and does evangelism. every student prays about where we feel God wants us to go. so we either go to Waikiki, hotel street (which consists of prostitutes, bars, homeless people, etc.), or we stay on base and pray for those who go out and evangelise. that lasts till around 11, and then we have optional all night prayer.
saturdays and sundays we have off.

so seeing that i hope you realize that i dont have too much free time! and im so sorry that i havent written in a long time. these past few weeks have been crazy and our schedule hasn't been normal at all.  so ill do my best to include all the cool things that have happened since i updated last! it might be long so be ready!

 friday the 30th we had launch, but it was at a different location and we just had worship all night instead of a sermon. the worship leader was lead a guy named levi from the YWAM base in kona on the big island. it is the BIG base where the founder of YWAM works at. its like an actual university with dorms and stuff. anyways, he was going to be speaking the following week . it was AMAZING worship. it was completely different then anythign i had ever experienced. this guy was SO in tune with God it blew my mind. He's part of  a prayer movement at the kona base. before he came i had no idea that people all over the world were praying 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, non stop. so yeah thats what hes apart of. and he doesnt do anything on his own, he is  COMPLETELY submissive to God and dependant on the Holy Spirit for guidance. so with that in mind, the worship service was filled with the Holy Spirit! God was literally speaking through him, just using levis vocals to speak His heart to us. if your reading this and dont feel comfortale and dont believe what im saying, im sorry, but during worship levi just completely sang prophetically and a lot of cool things happened! it was an experiecne that i obviously dont have words for. i personally was touched and God did alot in me that night.

the following week, (mon. 2 - fri. 6)  the school im apart of (discipleship training school) joined with a prayer school (they focus on personal prayer life/intimacy). it was just a one-time thing where we all had lecture together, about 50 people in all. levi spoke with a girl named sarah, who was also apart of the prayer movement at the kona base. they both kind of tag-teamed, each one taking turns speaking. they have AMAZING testimonies, and they both are IN LOVE with Jesus, literally. they spoke about intimacy.. and they went really REALLY deep. i wish i could have taken all the things i learned from them and baked them together so i could feed it to everyone back home! haha it was that good! the things they said completely gave me a new outlook on Jesus and His love for us. im overwhelmed writing this because i dont even know where to start or what to say. here are a few things that really stuck out!
1. God first loved us. i know we as a church talk about this all the time , but really think about it. the Creator of this world, of  everything in the universe, loved us so much that HE actually humbled Himself. He didnt have to do anything, but He wanted to. He created us for the simple fact that He wanted to be in relationship with us and so that we could EXPERIENCE Him on an intimate level. that blows my mind. the whole existance of mankind was for the purpose of love. and Jesus died on the cross becuase he LOVED us. yes, we are sinners and we do need a savior, but it was out of love that He died for our sins. it was a CHOICE. i cant get over that. it was for the JOY set before Him. He died for us becuase He knew that once it was all over, all of mankind was going to be able to know Him personally.. worthiness cannot be earned, it is the free gift of salvation.
2. just some cool facts.. in hebrew, Eden means pleasure. and a garden is a place of intimacy. so when you read genesis remember that. God's love is shown even after adam and eve sin. in gen. 3:9, God called to man saying " Where are  you!". the first thing to notice is that God is all knowing, so He didnt need to ask this question becuase He already knew the answer. But He once again goes out of His way to show us His desire for us. how cool is that?! 
3. true love is a choice. if we didnt have to choose, we would be robots, and our love for God would not be genuine. 
4. associate with brokeness, but do not identify with it!
5. love has to be reciprocated, it will grow stale if we recieve yet dont give it back. 1 John 4:18

i have sooo much more i could say but it would take hours to write. so thats what we talked about in lecture on mon and tues. then wednesday night levi felt like God wanted us to worship, which was good becuase there was an outpour of freedom. throughtout the night so many people got set free from numerous things. including me! it was insane. its just another example of me not having words to describe what happened. but, the Holy Spirit was VERY present and it was cool to be apart of something so radical!

i have to go to lecture but i will update more about the past two weeks and some pictures later tonight. 

i love everyone!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

DONT stop reading! im going to update later ive been soo busy!!

i love everyone

Friday, October 30, 2009

GO HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS SONG.. one of the worship leaders wrote this song with a freind, and it has become one of my favorite songs to just listen to and take in! 

so this week has been really good. again sorry i dont really update often, but im trying! and thank you for your support, i really appreciate it, and get encouragement from it. i love you all so much and am so blessed to have so many caring and generous people in my life. 

this weeks topic is the character of God, as well as fear of God. it has been really stressful because its a huge topic to cover in 4 days, and of course i have a billion questions to ask and they cant all be answered. but weve looked at how above all, God is holy. We have to understand His otherness. thats been a big thing. weve also learned what its like to fear God, and how to live that out in our everyday lives. its really slapped me in  the face because i have gone through life for SO long without even considering God's holiness, without even acknowledging WHO He is, and what He deserves. thats really been in my mind and ive gotten discouraged because of my way of life. ive just felt so ashamed of the way ive chosen to live- knowing God but deciding to do what i want instead. ive been praying a lot for God to just make my heart pure and give me the desire to seek Him no matter what i think or feel or experience. 

the school leader came up to me and was like " hey i bought this little book and i feel like im supposed to give it to you. " so she gave it to me and it was a book by beth moore called A Taste of Believing God. while reading it God revealed to me that for so long i have based my faith off of what i experience.. i believe God as long as He does what i tell Him or want Him to do. which is completely selfish and stupid. i am in no way saying that i have had a complete revelation and im no longer struggling! no. im learning that this IS a process, as much as i want to know everything and understand everything RIGHT NOW. thats a hard thing to grasp too- im not quite there yet. but it was still really good to realize why some things have been the way they are in my life.

im trying to turn over a new leaf! im trying out seeking God and learning about who He is. its rough! and did i say frustrating? i didnt know  it could be so hard. but God allows us to go through trials so that A- we will learn to trust Him above all else and trust that He is faithful. B- so that we can help and comfort others when they are going through trials, just like God helped me when i was struggling. 

so yeah its all a big process. pray for perseverance. that i wont give up when i FEEL certain emotions, when i doubt and have unbelief. it would really help!
READ ISAIAH 61.. i think it may be for me?!

i love you all and please continue to send letters. it makes my day!

i miss everyone 

Saturday, October 24, 2009

so before i go to sleep, i thought i would share with everyone what happened tonight.

today was our last day with the speakers, lisa and vince. they are TRULY awesome people. im pretty sure i mentioned that they have been talking on the subject " life happens" - talking about vows, sins, wounds, forgiveness, soul ties, lies, and behaviors. obviously each of the things they talked about were pretty emotional. despite that, this week has truly been life changing. i have learned SO many new things that have benefitted me, and i also know that i will be able to take the lessons home to help the people around me. each subject is significant in our lives on a daily basis. the things i got out of this week will play out in my Christian walk for the rest of my life [ at least thats what im aiming for :) ] here are some things i learned.. forgiveness is NOT a feeling. there are righteous and unrighteous judgments. (i realized how i judge pretty much everyone before i even know them as a person) WOUNDS= occur when legitimate needs are not met, or met in the wrong way. we are usually hurt by people we love. we tend to sin in response to wounds. ( SO TRUE!!) wounds can pervert our view of who God is as well as His character. wounds must be dealt with properly or they wont heal, and we will continually deal with them. SOUL TIES= big one for me. a soul tie is when the soul (mind, will, and emotions) of a specific person creates an influential or authoritative bond on another persons mind, will, and/or emotions in either a Godly or ungodly way. the way to determine if we have ungodly soul ties is to ask ourselves.. do i trust ______'s word over Gods? do i do what ______ says without praying? also, have i had sex or any unrighteous physical contact with anyone? .... those were some hard things to ask myself. i realized that for SO long i had such an ungodly soul tie. mostly everything i did was completely determined by how a certain individual in my life would react or what they would think. how dumb is that? i cant believe i actually cared more about what another human being thought over what God thought or desired for my life. it sucks to think that i actually went that far. but you know what, i am in the process of learning God's true character. who He is. how He is faithful , how He loves ME. i am learning that He desires me, no matter WHAT i do. its a mind blowing concept that i am trying to come to grips with. anyways, LIES= due to whatever reason, there are lies that we have believed in our lives. (ex.. im fat, no one likes me, God doesn't love me.) there is a source to each lie. and when we believe a lie, it takes root in our lives and has power because we have accepted it. believing lies can lead to certain behaviors. which is a whole other story in itself. so if you want to know more you can text me and ill tell you. so yeah with all of that, we were taught how to be set free from each of those subjects/things in our lives that have had power. if your interested in how to do that you can text me with that question as well. thats the summary of what ive learned all week in lecture.

today was good. every friday night our base does this thing called launch, it basically a mini church service. and the worship leader is awesome! his names donny, and he is also one of the cooks. so when i have dinner prep on mondays and wednesdays im cooking with him. he is a real man of God, and hes funny! hes dating my school leader, they make a great couple. i always play jokes on him. ill walk up and be like.. hey donny, your girlfriend told me to tell you she wants to break up.. sorry. it funny. but yeah so he lead worship and then one of the people that lives on base here spoke about missions. he did his dts here and moved to kyrgyzstan for 10  years doing mission work. he was wise and i enjoyed what he had to say. then of course we went to evangelize. there are 4 choices every week, you either stay at the base and pray/interceed, go to hotel street (a mix of harry hines and deep ellum), go to the university of hawaii, or go down to waikiki. so this week i went to waikiki, and we brought this huge sign that says "free healing prayers" (i didnt stay with the group who had the sign). i was surprised at all the other people evangelizing. i talked to a couple of people,  while you read this it would be cool if you could pray for them. one guy named billy who is 19. he believes that there may or may not be a God, but hes leaning more towards the belief that there isnt. he thinks that were just here to live then when we die nothing happens. also a guy named ken who was making balloon animals and hats. i didnt really get to talk to him cause we had to leave, but he said he wasnt very "religious" but his parents were. i asked him if he believed in God and he didnt really have an answer. then a few of us prayed with a girl whos mom just got out of jail and she wanted her to be sober. she was really sweet. so yeah if you could pray that they will hear the truth of God and that they will open up to who He is and what HE desires for them.

after we got home, the base had an optional all night prayer in our prayer room. we spent time praying, reading the Word, and just soaking in the presence of the Lord. i was having a hard time because for years i have believed the lies that the enemy has told me. so when it was like 1 in the morning i asked if everyone could pray with me against the lies that satan had told me and that i had believed. it was amazing to be surrounded by people who cared for me and my relationship with the  Lord. God really broke me and brought out all of the pain and emotions that were attached to the numerous amount of lies i had believed. it was weird cause i have never been in a situation like that, i would have never asked everyone in the room to pray for me. so even though i didnt notice it, God was with me and He gave me the strength to step out and ask for help from other believers. i cant even describe all the emotions and things that the Holy Spirit did, but i can say that i was able to speak out and acknowledge the lies i had believed, and i was able to renounce them and speak truth. my friends were also able to pray over me. ahh  all i can say is that it was an EXPERiENCE and an encounter with God. He has a plan for me and satan is pissed because God is going to use me. once i get out of this battle and step out onto the other side, i will be unmovable and unshakable in my faith. i will bring joy and truth to others around me. and the when the Lord uses me to help others, it will be genuine and REAL. so i know that im definitely at war, but God has given me the power and protection that will bring me into His will and plan for my life. im really nervous and scared but i have to step out and trust that God is with me and that He is cheering for me, calling MY name. ahh i am getting excited. 

so if you could just pray for perseverance and strength not to give up in times that i feel hopeless and alone. again keep praying that i will EXPERIENCE God's truth, that it will be real to me.

thanks for reading, im really tired.

love hannah grace

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i know i havent updated this in a while, but we ALWAYS have something to do here so i dont get a lot of free time, and when i do, i dont spend it on the computer. so i apologize!

so last week, the new speakers came and talked about spiritual warfare and the authority we have in Christ. they were two men from california who started kingdom ministries. they basically just go around the world talking about the things they taught us, as well the power of prayer and things like that. as soon as they started speaking to us, i was loving it. i learned so much and got a lot of knowledge about things that i was naive about. like i knew we all struggled at some point in our lives with things, but these guys showed me a new way to look at it. they taught us to get to the root of things, that if we just deal with things on the surface, they are going to keep coming up in our lives, as well as hinder us from knowing and walking with God at our full potential. reading this it might not be a revelation to you, but i really learned a lot this week. they also challenged us to test things we hear around us, like in church or through other believers. not to just automatically assume that what they are saying is true just because of the position they stand in. but that we should go back to the Bible and test it to see if it is Biblical. its not an easy thing to do, it really is stretching me and my faith.
one of their priorities is to see people set free, to help people get to the root of their struggles and wounds. these guys spend the majority of their time praying with people.. i dont know how to explain it very well, but i will try. im sorry if im all over the place and nothing that i say makes any sense to you as you read, its just something i want to share because i got a lot out of it and i believe others can too.
at the beginning of the week the speakers offered one on one prayer with us as individuals. so of course i decided that i wanted to get prayer and hopefully receive INSTANT healing from all the things i struggle with or witness some awesome insane miracle. even though that didnt necessarily happen, i was so excited because they took me through a process. first, they started off by praying for the environment, declaring in Jesus' name that God's purpose would be fulfilled in my time there. and then after that we talked about what i was struggling with, like what i felt was holding me back from knowing God and His will for me, and the all the oppression i felt from my life: feelings, etc. ( like i said, i thought the two guys would pray for me and i would witness a miracle and be set free from all of my problems!) but then they made it clear that they werent going to be praying for me, telling me things that God reveals to them about me. no, they asked Jesus to show ME what was at the root of all my pain and struggles,to reveal to me things in my life that were standing in the way of Gods truth. let me tell you, once they asked God to reveal things to me, it got CRAZY! i didnt think that God would reveal anything, but mannn He did! things that i would have never thought of came to my mind. so after God would reveal whatever memory or thought to me, i would tell the people praying with me, and then we would test it. they would ask God to show me significance to the thought and/or memory that came to my mind,to show if it meant anything,. and for me God revealed memories in my life that had made me feel and think a certain way. He showed me what had happened to make me FEEL the way i did, He showed me the significance of the memory and WHY i felt the way i did. i had based my feelings off of lies that the enemy had told me, which caused me a lot of pain. so once i recognized the issue and acknowledged what had happened to cause the pain, i renounced the power that it had over me in JESUS' name, which allowed me to be free from the pain of that specific thing. it was really cool and powerful for me, im not sure if that story makes a lot of sense over the internet, but i tried my best. the main point is that i learned to get to the root, recognize the problem, and renounce the power of it, all in Jesus' name, and with that authority i have, nothing can harm me or overcome me.

so that was last weeks lecture phase over-view. it was great. on saturday i slept in till 2, and just laid around all day. sunday i went to my official official home church here in hawaii, Christ Fellowship. its the church where the people who started it are from texas. then on sunday night the new speakers who are teaching this week came in and talked to us to get to know us better. we played some team building games , as well as spoons and scrabble. ill have pictures up later. then yesterday, monday, they gave an overview of what they would be talking about all week. the focus is " life happens " its kind of an overview of last week, but this week were focusing more on the actual sin or problem were dealing with, and what the root is. about forgiveness, what it is and how you live it out on a daily basis. about personal sins, recognizing them and allowing God to forgive us. were learning a lot, so ill update later on specific things that spoke to me.

thanks for reading that whole thing if you did. it feels good to know people care about whats going on in my life. i enjoy knowing that :). so thank you. and please continue to pray that God will renew me and just completely pour His truth into me. that HE will open up my eyes to see the world through His eyes. that He will give me His heart for people. also, for freedom. that i will experience genuine freedom. and finally, that i will really understand the reality of the cross, of Christ the Son of God dying for MY sins. i really cant wrap my mind around that and a lot of times i have a hard time believing it.

so thanks again! and if you any of you ever want to feel free to send me letters :) i will write back i promise.